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| I'm not in Utah anymore. I'm in Bake Town, diggin the new job at Jamba Juice. up for a promotion in the very near future.
working on starting school. procrastinating is my forte. that's all. | | |
| life has been....okay.
I moved to utah where I've been working at a deli.
How uncool.
Anyway, things are just okay i guess.
I miss home and I've been sick all day today.
I've been throwing up and it hasn't been on purpose.
I have this stuffed nose and all I've eaten today is saltines
like 4 of them.
And a few glasses of water, and like 5 sips of 7-up.
It was disgusting. I haven't had soda in FOREVER.
I remember now why. and I still feel like crap.
I feel like I did two weekends ago when I went home
And got sick. oh well, I'm going home for christmas at least.
There's an open house at our store on friday
It's going to be crazy busy
And i'll probably shoot myself.
It's been super warm lately.
I know a storm is a-coming.
NOT looking forward to snow.
bus passsssss well that's all for now.
I don't know why I even bother to update this thing. | | |
| It burns my mouth
And my tastebuds have gone numb
that's what happens when you take too much
I want more
I need more
I've become a total junkie.
Everywhere I go, I need it
I crave it
I need to stop this
Its not good for me
It drives me on
But I always feel so guilty
after its down my throat
And my mouth doesn't respond
But my body and my head
Keeps telling me to get more
My stomach hurts
It's not worth it.
There's no satisfaction.
It's amazing how the drug effect
of SUGAR keeps me alive
It needs to stop.
Because one more bite
And I'm going to kill myself.
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| Almost two years ago this began
This began as a secret, only I didn't know that it never was.
And now, so different
So better
It's beginning to dwindle.
It's completely insane I've come this far
It seems to me a few years ago I though I would be different today
I always thought "someday"
Only my state of mind has changed.
and for now,
I'm okay with that | | |
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What happened to you?
It's like you lost your glue
and everything that kept you together
has fallen to pieces
and you aren't the same
drinking your problems away
Smoking your emotions down to the very last cigarette
you think you're cool so it's okay
But you're wasting your life away
and you won't change
you'll never grow up at this rate
and twenty years from now you'll still be just the same
older but no wiser
And you sit on the corner holding your sign
I know you'll use it to buy more wine
And those filthy buds you spread around "just for cash"
you smoke yourself because you can't last
and without it you're desperate
you can't blend in
You used to be someone to look up to
but now you're just someone people look down on
you'll never be considered for anything but
A junkie, a whore, a liar, and a punk
so drink up now while you've still got your youth
and smoke it up so you can drown out
the voice in your head that says "maybe no"
and for now just let things go. | | |
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